Touching is the most specific way to express our love. It’s a magic coddling of the body. Touching and feelings are inseparable. It’s a secret path towards the other’s heart. We can taste with our fingers the savour of our lover. Touching is a fundamental mean of nonverbal communication. When coming from the heart, it has the power to heal and awake, and allows the appearance of a profound soul fusion. Caresses always imply sincerity, respect, harmony and love. It’s about communicating what we feel and experience through body language. We should pay proper attention to this forgotten language which is an essential form of nourishment - a source of happiness, healing and pleasure.

An affectionate touch or a tender caress is often much more important than a thousand words; probably each of us has experienced the passionate embrace at a certain moment, which made words futile and useless. Actions, in many cases, communicate more than words. Physical contact is a prerequisite both for a healthy individual and for a fulfilling, mature, loving relationship with the person we love. These experiences amplify mutual appreciation and, not surprisingly, the erotic aspect of our lives gains in importance and enthusiasm. Through erotic touch we can celebrate our sensuality. It is an ingredient that brings spontaneity and delight to a relationship.

Medical researches regarding sexual therapy show that the majority of men consider touch as implicitly leading to intercourse. They have become accustomed to this pattern of thinking to such a degree that they are unable to distinguish between the physical act and other forms of fusing with their beloved. The Sluri Hiti Report comes to the conclusion that the majority of men limit lovemaking to penetration. A change in this pattern of thought requires time and effort. This myth can be changed step by step by the sensual and persuasive behavior of a woman, who is able to make him understand that passionate embraces or massages can be done without necessarily being followed by intercourse.

It’s important for any man to learn how to enjoy sensual, erotic experiences without lovemaking. It will probably seem strange to him in the beginning, but in time he will become more self-assured, will-powered and virile. Such moments can often be more beautiful, warmer and full of tenderness than actual intercourse. These moments are unique and can generate a deep intimacy between the lovers. Often the problem is that one partner is only a giver or only a receiver. It’s like a game between giving and receiving. Separating giving and receiving touch allows for us to savor each possibility and role.

By warm and gentle touches, we can transmit to our lover, in an ineffable way, all our affection felt in those moments for him/her. We have in mind to offer this feeling to her/him in this delicious state and this situation could be something very new for both. In our turn, while being touched, we try to become aware of all sensations that teach us savouring. Thus a gentle touch transforms itself into hundreds nuances of refined, fluid pleasure, pulsating and rippling in circles from the place of touch, spreading slowly throughout the body up to the brain, inducing a suave state of beatitude.

"Slow is better than fast." Slowing down allows us to "savor" the sensuous. The goal is not sexual arousal, but to know and feel the other one and establish a much closer connection with his/her being. We can map each other's bodies with any part of our body, even toes and feet - not only palms - kisses or with licks of the tongue. Pleasure mapping usually begins on the upper back, moving down the body to the feet. After turning over, the mapping moves from the feet up the body to the top of the head. It is quiet common to get more sensitive as the massage continues. In pleasure mapping, the chronic placement of attention, which is usually loosely focused within a stream of thoughts, becomes more and more focused in the realm of the physical.

The one who is touching should pay close attention to the other’s verbal responses. The smaller the area that is touched, the better the feedback will be. We can map his/her body with different levels of pressure. Some people can barely feel light caresses while others writhe in ecstasy from feathery touching. We can also vary the direction of the touch as well as varying the type of touch, for example, kneading engages tissue in a different way from light fingernail scraping. We can make creative uses of oils, lotions, powders, feathers, silk or even vibrators. The combination of scent and touch is extremely effective in opening up intimacy between two people. That's basically how we communicate love in an effective way, a way that doesn't involve having to discuss the subject a great deal.

The couples who wish to enhance their relationship need to understand touch as a language that they speak to each other. This communication involves continuous alternating between giving and receiving. In this way the mutual caresses become more like a conversation. Sexual well-being can be enhanced by learning how to savor touching our lover, by knowing the pleasure places on his/her body, by learning to enjoy giving and receiving erotic caresses and by allowing touch to become intimate communication. Long-term couples will also find that massage can establish a much closer connection, improve their communication, release tension and develop new levels of trust and intimacy. In the future articles we’ll discover together the amazing realm of the art of touching.